Whenever people meet Seth and I, they always assume we are siblings. I’ve been told it’s because we have similar smiles and are basically the same height, but I don’t see it at all. The awkward part is trying to subtly correct “brother and sister” to “husband and wife.” Shock is always the initial reaction. “What?! You are so young!” they exclaim, in the politest way they can manage through their surprise. And I understand! If I had told myself four years back that I would be married at 19, I would have had a way worse reaction. I would have laughed at my future self and strongly stated that there would be no way I was giving up my freedom until at least 25.
The funny thing about life is how ironic it can be sometimes. As a girl who promised herself she wouldn’t get married right out of high school, I sure didn’t wait that long. To my credit, I did manage to make it through two years of college (so technically, that promise was kept). But now that I’m here, I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, since this is probably going to be hot topic in my life until I start to age a little more or Seth can grow a full face of hair, I decided to address it: Why did I decide to get married at such a young age?
My perception changed.
When I was younger, I thought it was so important to do things by yourself as a single lady. To grow, learn, and discover yourself through experiencing things on your own. There is definitely a place for this, and I still really enjoy going off on my own or with a group of my girl friends and adventuring. But, as I grew up, I realized it’s more fun to grow with people and continue experiencing things with them.
Seth was the ultimate version of this. We shared our lives together, grew together, and learned more about ourselves together. I never realized that it was possible to learn more about yourself by being with another person and experiencing life with them. I saw independence and self-knowledge as this bucket that had to be entirely filled before you got married, but I realize now that it’s less like a bucket and more like a house.
You fill a house with items that are rearranged constantly and even swapped sometimes. Your house evolves and fills and refills throughout your life. Now, I still am a strong believer that you can’t present someone with an empty house and expect them to fill it for you. That would be ridiculous. Can you imagine sitting on a lawn chair, drink in hand, expecting someone else to move everything into your house for you? I sure hope this image seems silly to you. But you can get them to help you move the big furniture in, in fact it’s much more fun this way. You have someone to share the load with, laugh with, and even share a pizza and beer with when the day is done.
All this to say that I realized that doing life with Seth was way better than just doing things alone. Being married is an adventure in and of itself.
He asked and I wanted to.
I love him, enjoy being with him, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. It’s as simple as that. Yes, this is a pretty easy and obvious answer, but it’s the truth. We both came to the conclusion that we were ready to take the next step in our relationship together. There was no point in putting it off just for the sake of it.
He’s my best friend. We communicate well, respect each other, bring out the best in each other, and laugh together lots. I think these are such important qualities in our relationship. Everything else stems from these. Being my best friend means we enjoy spending time together, going on adventures, and sharing our lives. Communicating well means being honest, open, and working our hardest to resolve issues as soon as they come up. Respecting each other means valuing each other and being kind. Bringing out the best in each other means we support, encourage, and put the other person first. And laughing together means a lifetime of happiness.
The timing was right for us.
Everything fell into place. This was the last summer we knew we would be able to go back and spend time with our families, and next year both of us were going to have to start making big life decisions about where we wanted to take our careers. Economically, it made perfect sense. Why pay for two rents and two grocery bills when we were spending all our time together anyways? Life was giving us a little shove in the right direction.
We had “The Blessing.”
Not just the traditional blessing from my father (which Seth did graciously ask for), but the blessing of my mom, my brothers, Seth’s family, and our friends. Everyone closest to us was rooting for us. The people who knew us best told us we could handle taking on married life. Knowing that they thought we were good together was a huge encouragement. They let us know that they supported us. To me, that was important.
Our relationship is based on the same values.
We went into our marriage knowing love is a choice, not a flighty feeling. Because of this belief, our relationship is not based only on how we feel about each other, but a choice we made. We know we need to fight for each other even when we don’t feel like it to make this relationship work, and so far, in our (almost) four years together, this philosophy has done wonders for us.
We are also both Christians that believe that our life’s purpose is to serve God and live according to His word, the Bible. Because our relationship is based on the same values, it’s pretty easy for us to agree on the big things in life. For the less serious things, a good game of rock paper scissors or a giggly debate should help us sort things out. We believe that God brought us together and he will bless and help us in our relationship together.
Maybe now it’s easier to understand why exactly Seth and I decided to get married at such a young age. Or maybe you still think we are crazy. Either way, I hope you enjoyed hearing a little bit more about why I made the decision I did. This post is pretty personal and quite different from my recent posts (and what I intend to post) but I hope you were entertained nonetheless.
Thanks for reading,
The beautiful moment featured for this blog post was captured by Sarah Josza.